I find myself getting triggered and angry when something my husband does reminds me of my mother growing up. I have forgiven my mother now, but how do I forgive my mother for what happened in the past?
Your Mother was the first person you loved, and the first person you received love from.
The relationship between you both has been the foundation for all of your roles in relationships up until now. This is why when your husband does something that reminds you of your mom it triggers you. I am sure just like the negative triggers you, the positive nurtures you.
To help forgive your Mother for what happened in the past you have to acknowledge what needs, healthy (positive) and unhealthy (negative,) need to be forgiven or released and which need to be embraced.
I want you to take a minute right now and list all of the negative emotions that are consistent in your relationships. All relationships, not just romantic. Do you feel unworthy? Do you feel judged? Do you feel invisible? Do you feel selfish? Do you feel ashamed? Do you feel like you are not enough? Do you feel entitled? What do you feel?
Now that you have listed all of the consistent negative emotions in your relationships, think of your Mother, do you see the connection? If not, take your time until you see it.
Next, I want you to do the same with any mental judgements you have over yourself and relationships. Do you see the connection in these as well?
Once you can see the connection you can also see these thoughts and feelings were instilled in you subconsciously or without choice. However, I want you to know you do have a choice now. You can choose what your foundation is going to be from this moment forward, and you can start by forgiving your Mother. Forgive her because she truly did the best she could then, even if you do not think or feel so, she truly did. It was what your Mother knew and had learned from her Mother and Mother figures. It was her way of loving you and receiving your love....
Just like these negative emotions and thoughts are rooted form the connection with you Mother, so are positive one, for the same reason. She was who first taught you about love.
Do you feel beautiful? Do you feel accepted? Do you feel safe? Do you feel accepted by others? Do you feel accepting of others? Do you feel optimistic? Do you feel valuable? Do you feel special? What do you feel? Focus on these feelings, thoughts, and emotions and choose these as you rebuild the foundation for all of your roles in relationships, starting with your relationship with yourself.
Focus on the positive that comes from your connection with your Mother and keep in mind that it is a two way connection, so you can also teach her and you can also instill in her the emotions and thoughts you want reciprocated. If you accept yourself, she will accept you, and will accept herself as well.
Even if your Mother has passed, or you want nothing todo with her, or you never met her, this is a good exercise to do because the cord is still there.
You will instantly feel more in control of your life and happier with your choices. You will accept your husband for who is and will no longer compare him to an invisible cord. You will also feel your self-worth rising, since it is no longer measured by the negative, and with time you will feel extremely happy and satisfied with who you are, and it all starts now, with you healing your Mother Energy.
Sending you love, light, and happiness,